When I grow up I want to be just like Sam.
In a continuation from yesterday’s blog, this morning she was taken into the four hour surgery, half of her head shaved, and she went in like a champion. The surgery was performed, the tumor removed, and she woke up thereafter. Now she is back to being sarcastic and enduring the pain with very little to say.
I think it is funny how these stories end. Have you ever noticed that such tragedies always seem to befall on those who know how to carry it well?
I truly admire her strength.
As for me, I feel like I am slowly losing my sanity. I am overwhelmed, to say the least, by all the things I am faced with. Though I know I could be dealing with much more pain than this, it’s the daily struggles that seem to get the best of me. To contradict my blog from yesterday, I quote “Any idiot can face a crisis. It’s day-to-day living that wears you out.”
To an extent, I certainly agree. In fact, I have even managed to come up with my own diagnosis.
Though I have never lived through any other generation, I think I am entitled to saying that our generation of thinkers is under the most intense pressure of them all. This competitively driven world has us all convinced that if we can’t pull off a music or modeling career, or go to school for the first 20 plus years of our lives then we will not be successful. We’d end up struggling to make ends meet for the rest of our lives–working as the manager at a retail store or fast food restaurant, or doing some other unfulfilling and underpaid job.
If you think about it though, 20 plus years in school is really excessive.
In generations past, if you lived until 40 you were lucky. To say that we spend more than half of our lives in school just preparing for life would sound very insane. Is it that because our life expetancy has been raised, someone decided that we could waste a quarter of it in preparation for what is to come? (Assuming nothing tragic happens to hinder that progress.)
In my opinion, we waste way too much time doing absolutely nothing but waking up too early to go and socialise at school; until we get to college and realise that we probably should have taken a bit more from high school, and that we still have four years or more left only to then enter into a world where everyone seems to have a problem finding a stable or worthwhile job at all let alone in the field they spent their last two years of college learning about anyway.
It is a mouthful, I know. But that is how I feel. Like an entirely too long and confusing run-on sentence that has been continuing for so long that I have forgotten where it even begins and what the point of it was in the first place.
Simply put, I want to be done with school. I want to get rid of this thousand pound elephant that is on top of me telling me that I won’t be able to find a job that can support the lifestyle I ultimately want to live. I no longer want to have to worry about what deadline I am missing, or if I’ve done all the work I was supposed to do for each of my five classes or how much aid I am going to get next semester or how long it is going to take me to pay back these loans.
I’ll be damned if I spend over 20 years in school and still have to struggle to maintain for the rest of my life. And I know I am not the only one who feels this way.