Why, Hello Mr. Pepsi. I’ve Missed You

For those of you who do not know, which might be an excitingly many, I have an overly-excessive addiction (yes, I have noted the redundancy) to the devilish concoction they call Pepsi. No, not Coca-cola, PEPSI. FYI, I’ve done blind tests before. They certainly do not taste the same, thank you very much.

My sweet, sweet, beautifully toxic Pepsi has never let me down. Always there when I need it. No complaints; no fussing. And, there is never a hint of that little green goblin they call Jealousy. Six cans a day and not a word. Who needs a soul mate?

My advice to you: Depressed? Make sure you have a can in the refrigerator. Angry? Can-in-the-refrigerator. Lonely? Can-IN-DA-refrigerator. *Side note: I know it is supposedly dangerous having metal in the refrigerator, but come on? If anything is going to kill me, I’d think it would be the addiction, don’t you?* Hungry? Well.. Yeah, Pepsi doesn’t satisfy hunger, sorry. I’m still trying to figure out if it can even quench my thirst. ( I also drink bottles upon bottles of water a day. Does it even out? Who knows. I hear tap water is healthier. You can never win.)

Nevertheless, due to my anti-moderation ways with the blue can, I have set aside 5 days per month where I am not allowed to drink it. Not even a sip. In that case, no can-in-DA-refrigerator; I can’t stand the temptation. But why 5 days a month ? Well, I could always pretend I am trying to salvage my body from an acid burn-out, (does that even exist?) but the truth is, there are 5 days every month where drinking Pepsi actually hurts. Sign? Umm.. No. I will stop drinking Pepsi when I am good and ready!!

So, if the title did not give it away, my 5-day binge is over. And this cold glass of Pepsi has never tasted so good. ( So what if it is 11 o’clock in the a.m.) It puts me in such a generously riveting mood to where I actually want to divulge my oh-so-professional Pepsi-making skills to you.

Steps to a Refreshingly Addicting Glass of Pepsi:

1. Can you guess it? Can-in-the-refrigerator. The bottles go flat. Yuck. What is worse than flat Pepsi?
2. When it is cold, get a glass – or plastic cup if it suits you better – and put some ice in it.
3. Put the lime in the coconut and mix it all up. Sorry. ADD. Put the Pepsi in the glass, or cup, and mix THAT all up.
4. Hello Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. ( Or Mrs. Tall, Dark, and.. Uhh… Pretty ? )


Tip: Don’t let the ice melt in the drink, but eat them after. Can’t waste that tap water we spoke about!

How does it taste? Just okay? Good! That means you are safe. Now put the can down and run! You don’t want to have to rely on that secret supply of Tums to keep you from constant indigestion. I hope I never have to keep that supply by my bed; because by then I will be well on my way to that newly invented acid burn-out.

If it is as delicious and refreshing as mine, well, then I apologise for bringing you into my world. I kind of figured it wouldn’t be as good because mine is made with love – we have a special bond. Maybe I should have had a disclaimer:

“Hi. My name is Meisha, and I’m a Pepsi Addict.”

4 Responses to “Why, Hello Mr. Pepsi. I’ve Missed You

  • At least you know you’re an addict….

  • I swear i thought i was alone with my serious addiction to pepsi. Its so bad I once made my roommate accompany me to the store 11:59 pm a minute b4 the store closed bcuz i ran out and knew i wudnt be able to survive the nite witout it. Besides that the weirdest thing ive done is gotten up in the dead of the nite with an unforgiving crave for “Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome” according to you, n trus me there’s no way I’ll fall back a sleep if I dnt satisfy my cravin. Bizzare huh……

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