It’s unfair, insulting, and perhaps a little childish to allow one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.
But let’s face it, it’s human nature to generalise and group and label. It’s how we apply logic to mostly illogical and inexplicable behaviour. It’s how we armour up and prepare ourselves to more intelligently battle the same demon that overcame us the last time. (Plus, let’s be honest here. It’s usually way more than just ONE bad apple.)
Still, as much as I hate being one of “those people”, this cruel, cruel world has finally pushed me over the edge and into the sea of misery where no one is to be trusted and smiles simply cover up inner turmoil. I was invited as a plus one by my friend “company”, whose invitation I had been ignoring for quite some time now.
But grief is the name of the game.
A person can only handle heartbreak so many times before he/she decides to take full control of his/her affairs of the heart. If you’ve been an avid reader of my blog, you should know how I feel about emotional pain. (Substitute for a broken leg? I’ll even take menstrual cramps for 500. Please?)
Hence, I have made the unfortunate yet necessary decision to take control. And by “take control” I mean to build a wall so high that not even Humpty Dumpty would climb it. (He’d probably fall off anyway so it’s probably a good idea for him to stay away. Maybe go to the gym? No pressure.)
Now, I’ll be the first to call myself out on this and say how ashamed I am to see myself relapse this badly and do exactly what I try to tell others not to do, but I think I’ve suffered enough emotional pain this year for a lifetime. And quite frankly, I’ve had enough. It can’t possibly hurt me anymore than how I’ve already been hurt to take a little time to refocus and regroup behind my impenetrable wall. It will be far too hard to do so with people coming in and out of my sanctuary at will, disturbing and destroying everything on their way out — and sometimes, most times, even blocking the damn entrance.
And yes, the wall “also keeps good out”, not just bad, but I’ll take my chances. The probability of the next penis-weilding person to come in only for the purpose of causing a raucous with his narcissism and ADHD is probably far greater than its more selfless, cautious, and dedicated opposite.
Plus, how else will I be able to see who cares enough to climb it?